Released my expectations and found joy

I’m so happy. Like really really, kind of in your face and moderately annoyingly happy.

And I know why. One reason… JESUS!

Okay, two reasons. Jesus is the obvious number one, but the second is… I have given up expectations.

Please hear me (or read me… but that sounds weird) correctly, I still think there should be a standard. I still think that we should be people of integrity who do our best at all we are given. But that’s not what Imma sayin’. I think this crazy-in-your-face-joy has come from the releasing of the expectations of what life should be. Or what ministry should be. Or what family should be. Or what friends should be.

When we get stuck on our expectations on what things should be, whenever things deviate from that- we take it as a hit. A stupid self-imposed-good-for-nothin’ hit.

We’ve been in our current ministry for nearly four and a half years. I love what we get to do. I love camp, and supporting youth workers and OTHERS in ministry, and connecting people with areas of their passion, and hanging out with kids way more than I hang out with adults, and speaking at cool events, and serving with my handsome best friend, and all the other things… but this hasn’t always been my feeling about my ministry.

For the first two years…TWO YEARS… I struggled with some depression. I felt lost and a little hopeless. I felt like my ministry and work for Jesus had lost its value because I wasn’t a local pastor anymore. My little flock was gone, and my heart was ripped to pieces.

When I signed up for this, I EXPECTED it to always look a certain way, and when it didn’t, it really through me for a loop; and for much longer than I would usually like to admit to.

Once I released the expectations of what my ministry should be, things got better straight away. Nothing on the outside changed, but I changed. I decided that life is what it is, and I didn’t want to take any of it for granted anymore. As time progressed, I have tried to give up more and more expectations that don’t serve any purpose other than to let you down when they don’t happen the way you’ve pictured.

I am so thankful for every day I have in this ministry. Thankful for the new things I get to do, and in a way, I feel like the longer we are here, the more opportunity I have to redeem the time I wasted while stuck in my own yuck. I was a turd in the punch bowl (the quickest way to ruin the party) for too long. And no matter what God does with us, I don’t ever want to be that person again.

Life isn’t perfect, and people and situations will still disappoint. But things can look very different when we accept them as they come, and just do the best with what we have.

No more getting bent outa shape when things don’t happen the way we thought they would. Expectations, you can kick rocks. I choose joy.

Here is a picture of me and one of the great friends I’ve met since choosing joy.
Sometimes the joy makes me have a nerdy smile when pictures are taken in the middle of a crack up.

I’ll take it 🙂