Self Grace

Be gracious to yourself.

These past few weeks I have been blessed with opportunities to enjoy meals and coffee and phone calls both with people that I have loved a long time and with people that are in love with the same mission as I am.

Through so many of these interactions I’ve heard stories of guilt, or grief. Stories of putting ourselves down and feeling like we’re just not good enough.
It seems like we are much harder on ourselves than we would be on anyone else.

Imagine you’re sitting at a table across from someone that you love with your whole heart. You both have your hands wrapped around the best cup of coffee you’ve ever had. 

That person you love is sharing stories of disappointment in themselves, or stories of lingering guilt, or shame. Maybe they’re sharing stories of how they wish they could be someone that they’re not, or they wish they weren’t someone that they are.

If they truly are someone we love, we would never look at them and say “You’re right. You really are an awful human. All you are capable of are mistakes and failure. Really, you should get it together or jump off a bridge.”

That would be absurd. We would never say those things or even anything remotely close to that to someone that we care about. We would look at them with eyes of grace with a heart that embraces them for who they are, and we would say things like “I know it’s been hard, but you’re not alone. You really been doing your best, things are going to get better. Just because you’ve made this or these mistakes that doesn’t mean that’s who you are. 

You are loved. 

You are valuable. 

You are wanted. 

You are appreciated. 

You are needed.”

If we would say such gracious and kind things to someone we love, why are those the last things we would ever say to ourselves? 
Life is hard. 

Why do we make it harder?

Beating ourselves up usually doesn’t make for a better choice on the next go. Cycles of guilt and shame produce more cycles of guilt and shame.

I wonder how different our lives would be if we were kinder to ourselves. How different would our lives be if we were as kind to ourselves as we would be with someone that we love and respect? 

That doesn’t mean that every mistake we make isn’t a big deal or that we shouldn’t try our best to do our best, but maybe we should just handle our wounded hearts with hands of kindness and compassion- as opposed to hands full of thorns and scorn. 

Grace. 

Give it. 

Live it. 

Receive it.